I want to talk about setting boundaries for children when it comes to exploring and where we draw the lines.
I want Eloise to grow up to respect things around her. Conversely, my head always comes back to the adage of Sleeping Beauty:
If the king had just let her know what a spindle was, she may have never pricked her finger because she wouldn’t have been so curious.
I’d love to hear your two cents, where do YOU draw the line? Do you think you should teach them everything right off the bat? (ie we don’t pull things out of cupboards.) Or allow them a little harmless exploration? Or somewhere along the scale? How does teaching them one way or another affect their development? I want to know what you think!
Yesterday I posted about setting boundaries to your little one’s safe exploration around the home and wanted to what I gathered from some of my favorite responses here:
ashemerson518 We allow lots of exploration (certain cabinets and drawers are ok, others are locked). With a 10 month old it’s still hard to convey why a No is sometimes necessary (like not eating dog food?), but I know it will get easier with time.
jenniferatkinson I always let Aiden do harmless exploration, but if he could hurt himself I either put baby locks on the cupboard or told him NO when he got too close to something he could pull down or climb on. It gets easier! Usually we would only have to tell Aiden “no” a handful of times before he got the message. My nephews were a lot trickier though – they would constantly push boundaries. One time my sister-in-law saw one of them literally climbing the fridge. Like, scaling it ??♀️
hug_a_booboo Nothing teaches better than experience. But as parents, our first priority is to keep them safe. Too safe will handicap them so let them explore and learn, but always under the watchful distant eye if love.
brittsbabes I like to let them explore when they’re as little as Eloise, but obviously not if she can hurt herself… they are little sponges so they pick so much info up!!
ahelms Flexibility and boundaries are both equally important! I don’t have to say much…you’ve seen my parenting style plenty of times ? I will say, they understand more than you think, even though they can’t quite verbalize things yet! So I think creating boundaries and saying “no” or whatever version of “no” you want to use, is super important in raising a child that everyone will enjoy being around…you know what I mean…pretty sure we’ve talked about it.
karinamtz6 I believe it’s a matter of balance and just common sense. Letting them explore in their own terms but at the same time always keeping an eye to avoid any dangerous situation… At least that’s how I always do it with my students(10monthsold-2yolds) and that’s how I’m doing it with my boy (it’s a lot more difficult when it’s your own child tho?). I think we sometimes underestimate babies and their ability to learn things on their own, so Id say let them explore in a supervised way?
shastawho I try to divert her attention away from certain precarious things. Like, I don’t want her to open the cabinet that is full of ceramic plates, but I do want her to learn how to open cabinets and what they’re for…so she gets to open the cabinet with special “baby” things inside (kitchen towels, toys and pots and pans that I don’t care about!).
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beemarieeeeeeee doing a mixture of both. I think being adventurous is a great quality so I want to encourage that while being safe and keeping boundaries. We went to Hawaii when she was seven weeks old I was worried about the seven hour flight out San Francisco, but she was an angel. Just had to remind myself that despite having a new bundle of joy I couldn’t allow myself to lose my sense of adventure ?
larisa_cheban I definitely want them to explore, learn something new everyday but of course if I know it’s something that may hurt them I tell them to stay away!
davisjimenezfam I’m here for the comments because my little one is 5 months old and I’m sacred that I’ll be too *dont do that , don’t touch that* ? but at the same time I want her to explore and learn on her own you know?
_michelleawilliamsI too am very curious about this! I try to judge every situation based on if it’s dangerous/physically harmful. I try to keep a safe place for her to explore and not say “no” as much when she’s there!
laurenandbearsI’ve definitely learned to pick and choose my battles with Isla. If it’s really dangerous I stop her but if I tell her a piece of food is spicy or hot and she still grabs it and takes a bite, well, lesson learned for her. That being said I still have to say no and don’t do that dozens of times a day since Isla likes to test her limits
alifesetfreeI honestly think it’s a balance. And I think it changes with time. I used to be way uptight when my oldest was younger and am much more relaxed now. And I think its different per family ?♀️
themilkandmoscatoI want my daughter to learn that there are consequences to actions whether they be good or bad, but that she be the light in the world and to see things as good and positive, even in the world today. To hold her close enough, that if something truly harmful comes in her reach I can protect her, but letting her learn and understand the world around her. Such a tough question! But kind of learning as we go along… she’s definitely curious! {so scary!} lol
(note: let me know if you don’t want your response posted here and I will happily remove it! )
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